I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
