We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
