It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
