Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
