Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
