bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
