why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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