Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
