I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
