It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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