My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
