I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
