The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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