Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
