The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
