and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
