Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
