Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
