Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
