party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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