i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
