Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
