I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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