I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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