Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
