Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
