i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
