yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize