I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
