just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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