u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize