Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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