I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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