goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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