textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
