Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
