Cold hands, warm shart.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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