I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
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