i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
