sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
