I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
