I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
