I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
