I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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