I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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