Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
