craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
