She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
