I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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