I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
