Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
wow bdsm is so cute
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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