I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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