It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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