But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
