weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
