Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
