can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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