You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
