i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
