flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
